Leading With Care...But Not Carrying
Dear Leader,
It’s interesting how the things I’m working on in my own life tend to show up in my work with leaders.
Lately, the theme has been pretty consistent:
Caring… without carrying.
I’ve spent most of my life being someone people can count on. Organizing, leading, stepping in, making sure things get handled whether I was technically in charge or not.
It’s a great skill set. Until it’s not.
At some point, carrying what isn’t actually mine starts to add up. Not dramatically, but in that slow, creeping way. A little more fatigue. A little less patience. And occasionally the thought, “Why am I the only one who sees this?”
And here’s what’s been hard to miss: smart, capable leaders step in because they care and because they can. Over time, without meaning to, they become the center of everything.
This is the fancy leadership pattern we can call The Bottleneck.
It’s not always obvious. Decisions slow down a little. Teams hesitate. Work circles back. More and more still runs through one person. And the tricky part? Stepping in does work in the moment. It moves things along, solves the problem, and gives that quick sense of, “Okay, we’re back on track.”
But over time, that pattern trades short-term relief for long-term dependency.
What most great leaders actually want is different. It's a team that steps up because expectations are clear, shared ownership that's engaged and the ability to lead with their strengths.
And, I'm here to share with you that the shift doesn’t come from doing more.
It comes from pausing, letting things take a little longer than you’d prefer, and trusting that other people can carry more than we’ve been letting them. (Still working on that myself, by the way. But it is working.)
Which is probably why a quiet dock on any given night doesn’t just sound nice right now.
It sounds like progress.
Cheering you on—have a fabulous May,
Lori
NEW
〰️
NEW 〰️
Monthly Strengths Snapshot
May Focus: Responsibility
Strengths Snapshot: Responsibility (Executing Theme)
CliftonStrengths® Insight (Gallup-Certified Coach)
Responsibility (an Executing theme) is built to follow through—but without clear boundaries, it can end up following through on too much.
At its best:
You follow through—people trust you
You take ownership without being asked
You hold a high standard for yourself and others
Under pressure:
You step in quickly (sometimes too quickly)
You take things back when others struggle
You become the quiet safety net for the team
The hidden cost:
Short-term relief… long-term dependency
Fatigue that builds instead of clears
A team that leans instead of leads
The shift:
Get clear on what’s actually yours to carry
Let others step forward—even if it’s slower or messier
Responsibility is one of the most trusted leadership strengths — and one of the easiest to overuse.
That’s why I integrate CliftonStrengths into my coaching work: so leaders can see not only what makes them effective, but where their strengths may be quietly creating friction, over-functioning, or dependency.
Leadership Capacity Check: Are You Caring or Carrying?
Here are 5 questions to ask yourself this month:
What decision keeps coming back to me that someone else could be equipped to own?
Where am I stepping in because it’s truly needed—and where am I stepping in because it’s faster?
What responsibility have I quietly taken back from someone else?
Where is my team waiting for my approval, direction, or rescue before they move?
What is one thing I could let take longer this month so someone else can build the muscle?
This isn’t about becoming less caring.
It’s about building more capacity—yours and theirs.
If your team is growing, stretched, or relying too heavily on a few key people, this is exactly the kind of work we do inside Codavision.
We look at where leadership is getting stuck, where ownership needs to be strengthened, and how to build more capacity across the team — not just at the top.
If this feels timely, I’d love to talk.
